To Torture the Akatsuki
by Stealing E. Hearts
Summary: Me and my cousin have kidnapped the akatsuki... and sadly a homicidal snake. Anyway you guys can get them to do whatever you want by reviewing your demands. So join us in the quest, To Torture the Akatsuki!
1. The Hostages

E.K.- LADIE'S AND GENTLEMAN MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PUHLEASE? FO-

(Get's hit in the head) OW! What was that for??

Itachi- (Glares) What Have I said about singing to Sweeny Todd?

E.K.- Not too….

Itachi- Why…

E.k.- Ummmm… well, shouldn't YOU be introducing this story?

(Dangles a box of Strawberry Pocky.)

Itachi- Fine. Ego-Killer does not own Naruto.

(Snatches Pocky)

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

E.K.- Welcome! As you can probably guess, this is an Ask the character thing. I know you've seen these all over the site… but, oh what the hell. BRING IN THE HOSTAG- er, GUESTS!!

Bub- …… (Makes no move) When the hell did I become your lackey?

E.K.- The moment you started to cuss, now get them in here before I sic Orochimaru on you.

(Bangs, screaming and Death Threats came from a closet nearby)

Bub- T-that was you!

E.K.- No, it was your sister.

Bub- (Sobs before running away)

E.K.- Crap. (Walks to a door leading to garage) Get in here!

Akatsuki (excluding Tobi)- NO!!

Tobi- Okay! Because Tobi is a good boy. (Leaves)

E.K.- Well, aren't you guys going to follow?

Akatsuki- No…

(E.K. Walks up to Itachi, then pulls out Pocky from one of many random cargo pockets. Holds up, Itachi head snaps towards it. Moves it around, his head fallows it. Tosses it through doorway, Itachi pounces after ward. Goes over to Kakuzu, does same thing except with money.)

E.K.- ummmm… I have access to yaoi, (Konan gets up and leaves) and….. yuri. -/./-

(Pein leaves double time, Kisame and Hidan leave as well.)

E.K.- Let's see. Tobi, check. Mr. Weasel-chan, check. Konan, check. Leader, check. Greed, check. Fishy, check. Jashin's Stalker, check. Hmmm… We have some fresh meat in the fridge.

(Zetsu left) And thus leaves the happy couple.

Dei- You'll never get us, un!!

Sasori- For once I agree with the loudmouth.

E.K.- Right, well you'll come join us soon. Very, very soon. (Leaves Garage.)

-- -- -- --

(In Garage)

Dei- Sasori-danna, I-I Didn't like that glint her eyes', un.

Sasori- I didn't either.

(Rustling)

Dei- What was that, un?

(Millions of Rats appears)

Both- Oh Crap.

-- -- --

(Out of garage)

Dei and Sasori- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

E.K.- Thank you Tobi, for that genjutsu. (Gives Tobi a Cookie).

Tobi- Tobi's a Good Boy!

E.K.- Exactly, now go bother the other members. (He runs off) Okay, you guys can send in questions and dares for the Akatsuki… and anyone else in naruto if you get bored, by reviews.

So may it begin!!


	2. What is that?

E.K.- Bub, hide under here for this one. Orochimaru has escaped, and well. You're too innocent to see what is about to happen.

Bub- Okay, but… something's crawling up my leg.

E.K.- (twitches) SNAKE!

(A series of bangs and curse pursued.) Just yell if he bothers you again…. Don't come out unless that happens. Leaves him underneath bed.

E.k.- looks at computer Okay, who's first……

-- -- -- --

NejiTenSasuSaku4eva-

I dare sasuke too dance in a pink jumpsuit saying that he is gay and trying to kiss all of the guys he sees

-- -- --

E.K.- Hmmmmm…. (claps) Uchiha Sasuke!

(He appears in a puff of smoke)

Sasuke- Why the hell am I here?

E.K.- Well, I summoned you here for a super secret mission. (Holds up Pink Jumpsuit)

Sasuke- No.

E.K.- It involves Itachi.

Sasuke- WHERE!?

E.K.- Well you got to put this jumpsuit o- (Sasuke jumps in it)

E.K.- O-okay. O.O (clears throat) before you go out there you must drink this.

(Holds up small vial filled with a light brown liquid)

Sasuke- Why must I drink that? There's a skull sticker on it….

(E.k. rips off the sticker)

E.K.- It will make you blend in. Not even the Byukagan could see you after you drink this!

(Sasuke chugs it down)

(maniac grin appears on E.K. as Sasuke gets one of his own)

(Opens door to the front room, Sasuke struts in)

Sasuke- Hello Darlings. (Walks over to where Deidara is sitting and sits next to him before yawning and bring Dei closer) Hello, I looove blondes.

Dei- O/./o Are you gay or something?

Sasuke- purrs Yes, but in your case… Hell, yes.

Dei- ITACHI!!

(Sasuke head snaps toward Itachi. Begins to creep like a zombie. Stops, foams at the mouth, then falls over.)

E.K.- Man, I'm happy a carry these morphine darts now. Incest…. Not good…… yaoi is, but not between the uchihas….. unless it's (blocked spoiler) and Itachi.

(tosses Sasuke into closet)

Itachi- What was in that vial?

E.K.- Sugar, syrup, male hormones, and random other stuff.

Akatsuki- O.o

E.K.- NEXT!

-- -- --

Gaaragirl312

poor akatsuki but I like the idea. I like torturing Pein so... maybe you should make him do crazy things like, wwit all my ideas are weird. Ah well. Good story.

-- -- --

(Glomps Gaaragirl312)

E.K.- Yayz positive feed back!! And I missed you so much. We won a trophy at camp! We loved your picture and letter!

-- -- --

Kpizkool

Hidan: Can i decapitate you? I really want to.  
Pein: Has there ever been a time when you swear someone's PMSing beside Konan?  
Itachi: Do you have any regrets?  
Dei: What's the weirdest thing that's ever happened in the Akatsuki?

-- -- --

Hidan- Hell No! Why the Fucking hell would I let you?! Unless of course, it was for the all fucking mighty Jashin.

Pein- Yes… ALL OF THEM. Really, ALLLLL.

Itachi- Yes, many.

E.K.- Oh, come on. It wasn't completely your fault. We know now not to give you-know-who cookies while he's plotting with d-baka.

(backs away at sudden glares for the spoilers)

Dei- ponders the weirdest thing would have been the time I walked in on Zetsu and Kisame fighting.

E.K.- How is that weird?

Dei- They were fighting over who would rule the planet. Fish or plants. . . They gave the plants and fish time to argue their case.

E.K.- O.o

N-next.

-- -- --

Tanya

Make Hidan sit through a church sermon. Oh, feed Zetsu veggie burgers, Make kakuzu sit in at a sewing circle. ASK DEIDARA WHETHER HE'S A GUY OR A GIRL!

-- -- --

E.K.- (claps hands together) Okay, we are going to have a field trip!

Akatsuki- (unenthusiastically) woohoo.

(E.K. Glares)

E.K.- … we are going to one of the churches nearby.

Sasori- What church?

(E.K. kicks front door open. Five churches are seen within walking distance)

E.K.- Sadly, this place used to have land so they built churches here.

(Akatsuki Ignores)

E.K.- Bub!!

(Bubba appears)

Bub- Yeah?

E.K.- Pick.

(Bub points at the farthest one)

Why?

Bub- it has an arcade.

E.K.- Fine.

/ magical transportation no jutsu!\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

E.k.- Okay, Hidan. Go in there. (points at big brown doors)

Hidan- Why in fucking hell should I do that. Is it going something bitchy like you?

(winds blows, cricket chirps, and someone coughs 'dumbshit' in the back ground)

E.K.- go in there now or I WILL CASTRUTATE YOU WITH A RUSTY SPOON!! SCARY FACE

(hidan runs in to the sermon)

Ok, Kakuzu. I signed you up for the knitting circle.

Kakuzu- Whyyyy?

(E.K. twitchs, and Kakuzu runs to the circle)

E.K.- Now, who's up for a snack??

/short walk to mcdonalds which is right across the street\\\\\\\\\\\

Zetsu- (munchs happily on burger)

E.K.- (sits quietly, with a small grin)

Others- (sitting far away from the two)

E.K.- Hey, Zetsu. Do you like your burger?

Zetsu- Yes. **Hell yes.**

E.k.- well guess what's in it.

Zetsu- Cow. **People.**

E.k.- nope! It's a veggie burger, no meat!

(Zetsu falls to the floor foaming at the mouth)

E.K.- Can you guys take him back to the house? I'll grab Hidan and Kakuzu.

/ back to the church\\\\\\\\\

(E.K. wanders into security room then looks at the screen)

E.K.- Where are they??

(Cell rings) Hello?? ………. THEY ARE WHAT!?

- - - base--.--

E.K.-(storms in) WHERE!?

Itachi-(looks up from book boredly) Hidan's in the back yard and Kakuzu is in your room.

(E (got lazy and shortened) storms outside grabs Hidan by the ear)

Hidan- OW! WHAT IN JASHIN'S NAME ARE YOU DOING!

E- What the hell are **YOU** doing!? You're supposed to be at the sermon!

Random convertee- He was till he showed us the light!

E- (glares hidan)….. Is this a ceremony.

Hidan- yes. So fucking what.

E- who's the sacrifice?

Hidan- orochimaru.

E- carry on. But after that they (points at the convertees'0 leave.

Hidan- (grumbles) fine

--skip to my lou my darling-

E.k.- O.o

Kakuzu- (beats drum) FASTER!

E.K.- Is t-tha-

Kakuzu- YES!!

E.k.- You have to stop.

Kakuzu- But think of the products we could make!!

E.k.- no. I should of stopped you from going….. but this………… Why did you have to start an illegal Sweat shop!? (looks at poor workers) You people, out! Now!

(peoplez scramblez out)

Kakuzu- Why did you do that?!

E- Because! Now there aren't witnesses!

Kakuzu- O.o

E- I'm going to sew your eyes shut for this!

Dun dun dun.

-- - -- - - - -- - -

E- okay peoplez another good show.

Itachi- yes but it took you forever to do it.

E- s-shut up! I blame school! They give way to much homework! Anyway, gomen my peeps!

Disclaimer- I do not own Naruto… that is Sasuke's job.

Itachi- O/.\o

P.s. sorry if it didn't make since at the end. i got my pocky up to stock again


	3. Molestation

E- Itachi…

Itachi- Yes?

E- Have you heard what some of the other members have been planning?

Itachi- Noo….(Sighs) What are they planning?

E- They are going to try to remove Tobi's mask. O.o

Itachi- O.o x6

E- We must stop them… we can't have that on our heads.

Itachi- What are you talking about, 'on our heads'. That mask comes off, our heads will roll.

Bub- ENOUGH WITH THE HEAD JOKES!

E- (total seriousness) Bubba, we're not joking.

Bub- O.o H-how'd they get the idea to remove the mask?

E- They looked at one of the reviews and got curious.

Also, I forgot to show the part of where we ask Deidara his gender… well we finished editing it to keep it 'T' rated.

-- -- -- Flashy-- -- --

_E- Okay, since Hidan is finishing the sacrifice of Orochimaru to Jashin, and Kakuzu is… Tied up. Heheheh, (coughs) Anyway. This is the time were we must do a confrontation with an Akatsuki member. It is the question that has kept the nation up in the middle of the night going, 'WTF IS IT?!' We are going to ask Deidara, his GENDER!!_

_(Dramatic music and lightning. Dei enters weirded out.)_

_E- welcome Deidara of the Akatsuki, lover of clay bombs._

_Dei- O.o (oh, come on. You know you love the face XP)_

_E- come, come. Sit (Deidara awkwardly does as she says.) Good, now you have been asked to appear her-_

_Dei- ASKED!? I WAS FORCED!?_

_E- I see problems with you like this later on, calm down._

_Dei- fine!_

_E- Okay, you're here because we need to know something._

_Dei- What?_

_E- Are you… a boy…… or a girl?_

_Dei- … ARGGGGHHHH!! (flips chair over) For the last damn TIME! I AM A GUY!! I HAVE PROOF!! (opens cloak and pull's down pants showing his… thing. Which has been pixeled… )_

_E- (Vision is blocked by Itachi's hand while she block's Bub's sight with here hand.)PULL UP YOUR PANTS!!_

_Dei- (calms down and pulls them back up)_

_(Itachi and E pull their hands away)_

_Bub- Oh yah, Ego?_

_E- Yes…_

_Bub- Well, we got lab results._

_E- And you're telling me this now!? You know what, nevermind (Yonks results)_

_E- Oh my. O.o well people, the results are in. Deidara is a… hermaphrodite! _

_(Insert group face fault.) But for the sake of yaoi, he shall be known as a guy. (notices cupboard in the corner is open, and a box of pocky missing) uh, guys. Where is the box of pocky that cream had the male hormones mixed in? (turns around to see Itachi and Deidara making out in front of everyone) Oh crap._

_Sasori- DEIDARA!!(storms over and separates them. Picks dei up and tosses over shoulder like caveman before heading towards a bedroom.)_

_E- and the truth comes out people._

_-- -- -- --_

E- (blinks) Wow, that takes care of half of Darkduchess1's review.

-- -- --

Darkduchess1

well this is going to be fun. he he(yaoi fangirls mind at work). lets go with Deidara and Itachi passionatly makeing out in front of the whole group. and just for shits and giggles lets have Kakazu burn all money he has on him one by one till it is all gone. love the story by the way.

-- -- --

E- Yayz! Fellow Yaoi fangirl!! Well, those two were making out, though it got interrupted. (Looks at bedroom door) Damn, there still going at it. I'm going to have to re furnish my furniture now!!

Bub- (comes back in with a friend… who is Shikamaru!) Hey, look who I found.

E- Ah, good. Shika, would you like revenge?

Shika- Yes, but your readers will kill for the spoilers.

E- Well, that's alittle ooc for those fallowing the English version… Anyways, you get to control Kakuzu to make him burn his money that is on his person. Trust me; it's a fate worst then death.

Shika- (grabs ino and choji then kidnaps Kakuzu)

E- ah, you'll see the after math later. And thank you.

-- -- -- -- -- --

Gaaragirl312

lol Sasuke in a pinkjumpsuit. Lol

-- -- -- -- -- --

E- Yayz! (glomps again) p.s. we put the canoes in front of the cabin's doors. XP

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

Angelica

You.Are.Insane. I like you! :)

Ideas:  
1) take Deidara and Sasori to the art musame(modern art exibit, it will horifiy them)  
2) Make Orochimaru kill a snake(poor snake)  
3) decapicate and dismeber Heidan(I still love you Heidan!)  
4) tell Tobi I know who he is. (I really do)  
5) tell Leader-sama I love the rain (sirously, I dance outside in thunder storms)  
That's all! :)  
Angelica

-- - - -- - - -- - - -- -

E- O… M….G……. YAYZ!!11111111 AWSOME PERSON!!

Itachi- Oh no!

Bub- Oh no!

Koolaid guy whose going to have to pay for the wall he just broke- OH YEAH!

(KUNAI TO THE FOREHEAD!!)

E- (cough) now that it's taken care of. (knocks on bedroom door) Oi! Rabbits! Wanna go see our version of art?

(Two poofs of smoke revealing the two)

/offwegoez\\\\\\\\\

E- (sighs) Here it is, Fort Worth's Museum of Modern Art. And going by bird cut off 20 min.!

-- I will not say what is in there. It still keeps me up at night in fear--

E- Uh…. Okay. (Looks at the two who were covered in soot and were in the fetal position) Never bringing them there again. (looks down at a dead snake)

E- Okay who made him do it?

Snake- X.x

Akatsuki- Itachi

E- Dammit! I wanted to see it!

Itachi- No you don't look closer at the snake.

E- (bends down) Well there is no wounds besides this whole near the end….. Oh my god, he didn't.

Itachi- Yes, yes he did.

E- Poor snakey! T.T I wouldn't wish that on my enemy!! Okay… maybe I would. At least it went out with a good outcome.

Itachi- You just had to say that, didn't you.

E- YEP!! Hey, where's bub and hidan?

Konan- (she hasn't been seen in a while. Poor konan) Brunswick.

E- Why? We need him here for the next idea.

Tobi- But E-chan. They're doing the next idea!

E- What!? Okay everyone into the Caskey's Van!

Akatsuki- Why?

E- It's called Hot Wiring. Unless you people want to walk more than two miles?

Akatsuki- (runs to the van down the street)

-- Brunswik Bowling place or something--

Hidan- Brat, are you sure this is how you play?

Bub- Oh, yah. Sure. Now hold still.

(hidan is tied to the sides in front of the pins) (Bub tosses the ball down the lane, effectively hitting Hidan in the middle. Magically causing the parts to separate from each other.)

Bub- STRIKE!!

E- BUBBA!!

Bub- SHIT!

E- (attempts to strangle Bub)

Hidan's voice- What in hell are you doing?

E- (looks around) Hidan?

Hidan- Down here Dumbass.

E- (looks down to see Hidan's head on the ball rack)….. HAHAHAAHA!!

Hidan- SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

E- hehehe, okay. Bub since you orchestrated this with out permission or at least sending me a txt. You have to put his body back together again. So we'll need Kaku-

(BANG!! Kakuzu runs in)

Kakuzu- YOU!! (tries to kill E)

E- WHY?! IT'S JUST MONEY (realizes she said the wrong thing and runs away. Kakuzu chases after)

Konan- Brendan, I'll help you put him back together.

Bub- Thanks

Tobi- I'll do the next idea since Tobi is a good boy! (reads and pauses. Then talks with a really scary voice) Angelica, why don't you come here and have a talk with me. I want to kill yo- hear what you know. (Dart passes through him and hits Zetsu. A cookie flys at him and is magically eaten. Tobi returns to 'normal') Yep, cuz Tobi is a good boy!!

Pein- You love the rain, huh? So that would mean you're the one who has been causing me to retrieve data wrong?? Or is that just some old man trying to find me, and conjures a frog to get info on me, the same man who trained me? Trying to work into my head are ya? Yah, well (starts satanically chanting from going into a insane person from trying to say spoilers).

E- (back) o-kay. Thanks Angelica! And if you do go to that meeting with Tobi, bring LOTS off candy.

-- -- --

Midnightanimeangelrainthorn

cool  
1 make hinta kiss naruto  
2 make itch kiss sakura infront of saskay  
i know i cant spell  
3 make tobie and deli. sing the song u.g.l.y in chearlding outfits  
4 make tenten kiss kisame infront of neji and tell us what happens  
i so whant to se this happen

-- --

E- Ah, a NaruHina lover. Okay.

(snaps and Hinata and a unconscious Naruto appear)

E- Hinata!! (glomps her)

Hinata- W-who a-are you?

E- Uhhh… Just call me E- chan. Anyways, You're here because we're going to help you kiss naruto!

Hinata- O-okay (looks down and flushes) I-isn't t-that him?

E-Nope! (lies flawlessly) It's just a dummy! So kiss away!

Hinata- (gulps then Kisses Naruto) (seperates)

E- Oh, Hinata…. CONGRADULATIONS!! YOU GOT NARUTO'S SIXTH KISS!!

Hinata- (faints)

Sasuke- (BURSTS OUT OF CLOSET) WHO GOT HIS SIXTH!!

E- Noone, but I do know who got his third, fourth, and fifth.

Sasuke- (murderess glare) WHO

E- (blocked Ya got to watch shippuden peoplez XP) who is dead.

Sasuke- (calms down then notices naruto) hehehe…. (Molests the poor kitsune)

Itachi and Sakura- NO!!

Sasuke- (to busy molesting his uke)

--half time show!!--

(Tobi and Dei inter wearing a black cheerleaders uniform with a red cloud on it)

Tobi and Dei- U-G-L-Y YOU AIN'T GOT NO ALIBI, YAH YOUR UGLY, YAH SO UGLY.

-- --

E- O.O

Kisame- Why would I want to kiss that weakling? She didn't even last that long in the Water Prison.

Tenten- And he would taste like Sushi!!

Neji- If they did kiss, fate would have proclaimed to fry the fish.

E- for once, fate would have been right.

Kisame- (Feels outnumbered) Why is their brats that gang up on me all the time?

E- you got demoted to B rank Nuke, and your only holding that because you listen to Itachi.

Kisame- (goes to the emo corner) TwT

-- -- -- --

Kpizkool

Hidan: (grins and brings out a cross) The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you! ( pokes him with it repeatedly )  
Itachi: Are you a Seme or an Uke?  
Pein: Were else do you have piercings?  
Kisame: (sings the Jaws theme song)  
Kakuzu: pokes x10)  
Oh, One more thing, (Chops Hidan's head off) I'm good now.  
kpizkool

-- -- -- --

(Hidan walks in only to get poked by Kpizkool)

Hidan- WHAT THE FUCKING HELL!? (Runs away burning)

Itachi- (stares then Glares that patented glare) I am a seme!!

E- So you are gay!!

Itachi- (tackles) Bi

E- HELPZ!!

Pein- (returns back to normal) ……….. I'll give you a hint, it's down under.

E- EEP! (translation- ew)

Kisame- (clamps hands over ears) STOP IT! I WAS YOUNG!! I NEEDED THE MONEY!!

Kakuzu- (twitchs) STOP!! OR I WILL STEAL YOUR HEART!!

Hidan- (Head ish Cut off) F- (is cut off by)

-- BURNING FLAMES OF YOUTH --

I THINK YOU SHOULD MAKE THEM ALL LOOK LIKE GAI-SENSEI AND LEE WITH ALL THERE YOUTHFULLNESS! THEN WE WOULD ALL BE YOUTHFULL AND IF THEY DONT I WILL USE THE ALMIGHTY YOUTHFULL JUTSU ON THEM TO DO IT!

-- --

Akatsuki(excluding Itachi and Tobi)- HELL NO!! (GOES TO KILL B.F.o.Y)

E- HELPZ!!

- - - -- - -

Tobi- (dressed up as Guy-sensei) E-chan in all her youthfulness is unable to do the disclaimer due to the youthfulness of Itachi. So Tobi being the youthful good boy he is will do it!

E-chan does not own Naruto! See E-chan! Tobi is a Good Boy!

E- Tobi be a good boy and save me!!

Tobi- But, then that would would stop the youthfulness! Plus Tobi promised Ita-chan!!

E- NNOOOOZ!! REVIEW! THAT IS MY WISH!


	4. Musical

E- (sits on Itachi who is bound and gag) Since **NONE** of you came to my help, it's time for the torture to begin.

-- - - -- -

**BURNING FLAMES OF YOUTH**

**I WARNED THE AKATSUKI I WOULD USE THE AL MIGHTY YOUTHFUL JUSTSU SO HAVE FUN WITH YOUTHFULNESS! TOBI YOU MAKE ME SO PROUD FOR DOING YOUR YOUTHFULLNESS KEEP SPREADING THE FLAMES! BUT I THINK THAT EVERYONE SHOULD BE ABLE TO DANCE THE YOUTHFULL DANCE! HEY TOBI MAKE EVERYONE DO THE YOUTHFULL DANCE WITH E-CHAN SO EVERYONE KNOWS THAT TOBI HAS THE BURNING FLAMES OF YOUTH - Does the youthfull dance- GOODBYE FELLOW FLAMES**

-- --

Tobi- (Jumps up and salutes) Yes sir!! (drags Ego up, and makes all the chairs disappear. Music off in the distance starts)

-I've… had… for the time of my lif- (song is short lived due to a kick and a few kunai to the radio)

Tobi- Why'd you guys due that?! That was a good song!!

E- no. just, no. –Thriller Starts- Oh shit. (tries to get away but is pulled back in.) HELL NO! HAVE KONAN BE THE GIRL!!

Itachi- (magically unbound) we tried but she just couldn't be that youthful.

E-(twitches) Tobi…. Want to know what the true Youthful song is?

Tobi- YES!! IT WOULD BE QUITE YOUTHFUL IF YOU WOULD TELL ME!

E- WEASEL… STOMPING DAY.

Itachi- O/. o (Runs like hell) Forgive me youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuth!!

E- Hehe… ahem. Anyways their going to be er… youthful for a bit. So will do a time ski-

Tobi- But… E-chaaan!

E- Eh?

Tobi- You didn't do the youthful dance with me!!

E- oh… Tobi! IS THAT A COOKIE?!

Tobi- (Turns around) Where?!

E- (exits stage right)

Tobi- (munches on the decoy) E-chan?

Remaining Akatsuki- (Are still dancing like zombies)

((TIME SKIPPIE))

Bub- Hey, Ego…. I just thought of something.

Ego- I'm not as lazy any more?

Bub- What?? N-no. I'm just wondering how some people are alive and others wanting revenge for what happens in shippuden, and yet everyone is still the same age pre-shippuden.

Ego- Ah, I can answer that…

Bub- Okay…. What is it?

Ego- …………… the power of entertainment.

Bub- that makes no sense what so ever.

Ego- it does if you believe!! (Looks around) Ok, where are the idiots?

Bub- You should read what gaaragirl312 wrote first.

/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / - - - - - - - - - -

**Gaaragirl312**

**lol and now I got a modern idea! Well 2 actually! And they are both for Deidara.**

**1. Make him wear a dress and dance in front of the whole Akatsuki  
2. Make him say un un un over and over again until that's all he can say.**

**lol this is really funny! Update soon!**

/ --

Bub- Wow… you messed up. You didn't update soon.

Ego- Shut up (drags dei into her closet) …………………… BUB! GATHER THE OTHERS INTO THE FRONT ROOM!!

Dei- BRAT! IF YOU DO THAT YOU'RE DEAD!!

Ego- AW, THAT'S AN EMPTY THREAT!!

Dei- GAH!!!!!!!!!

-Front Room no Jutsu!-

Ego- (coughes……… is ignored. Twitches before kicking the nearest guy in his precious… jewels. Which sadly, or comically, is Hidan) Now! Since I have your attention!

Hidan- b-bi-bitc-(falls over foaming in the mouth)

Ego- Dei-chan, has graciously agreed to put on a show of sorts. (Pulls back make-shift curtain to reveal Deidara in a teal short geisha kimono or yukata… can't exactly remember, with the edges in black and a dragon curving up past the black obi. He also wore teal knee high fish net stockings and black make-up)

Sasori- (glints predatorily)

Dei- Un?

-MilkShake starts playing in the background-

Ego- Hehe…

Konan- Is that a shock collar around his neck?

Ego- Oh yeah. If he doesn't say un he gets shocked.

Sasori- (pounces)

Dei- Hel-(SHOCK) un! M-(shocks) Un! Un! UN!!

Ego- Yaoi brings all the girls to the yard, their like. My pairing's better than your's and their like, Yeah right wanna trade cards?

Konan- Yaoi brings all the boys to the yard and there like my uke's better than your's. Then their like, mine could beat yours.

Bub- O.o I-I think I'm scarred for life.

-- -- -- --

**A-Loves-Itachi**

**Why does Itachi-kun get bribed by pocky? O/.\o  
torcher Tobi time!  
1) get a sumo to sit on him  
2) get blown up by dei-dei-kun  
3) make him eat carrots  
4) have a basketball thrown at him  
torcher zetsu time! (loved the idea of making him eat veggie burger!)  
1) stab him with pokie stick  
2) tie him up and lock him in a room with tobi!  
-x-  
alley  
-x-  
(and beccy-sama)**

-- -- -- --

Ego- He gets bribed with pocky because he's too lazy to move otherwise.

Itachi- She's right (chews on pocky)

Tobi- HEEEEELPP!! (is running away from a sumo)

Sumo- GIMME' BACK MA SUSHI!! (Does an awesome sumo jump and lands on Tobi)

Tobi- (is squashed)

Dei- (limps in) AH HA! (Shocks) Un! (Throws a clay bomb basketball at the sumo)

Sumo and Tobi- (Kabloomie...... er, Kabloom)

Ego and Bub- O.O

Tobi- (Crawls out unscathed) Wow, alot of things have been happening. (gaspth) Maybe its because I have been unyouthful for not eating cookies. T.T (runs int kitchen and grabs the cookie jar. Eats the 'cookies') Eh? GAH!!!!!!!! (falls over) uhhh..... healthy food. (carrots fall out of the jar)

Ego- Hey, carrots? What happened to the cookies?

((((Somewhere else))))

Bugs Bunny- Eh, What's up doc? (chews on cookie) What the hell? (Looks at cookie) This isn't my carrot! A rabbit needs a carrot!!!

Elmer- (cocks gun)

Bugs- Oh sh-(BOOM!)

((((Back)))))

Bub- Wow.

Pein- What?

Bub- I feel as though a number one cartoon bunny that has tortured his 'friens' for ages, just shot.

Pein- Right.

Kisame- ZETSU!

Zetsu- crap. **shit!**

Kisame- (starts to stab him with his pokie stick) YOU ATE FRED AND GEORGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Zetsu- (runz away into a closet)

Tobi- (is revived with sugar) ZETSU SENSIE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Zetsu- NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**!!!!!!!!!!**!!!!! (claws at the door)** WHY WON"T THIS OPEN??????

(((Outside closet)))

Ego- (holds Key) The door automatically locks when closed! We have to find the key! That might take a while!

Zetsu- (Muffled) NNNNNNNNNN**NNNN**NNNNNNN**NN**NNNNNNNNNNNN**NNNO**OOOOOOOOOO**OOOO**OOOOOO**O**O!!**!**!

----- -------- ------------- -------------------

midnightanimeangelthorn

make hidan sit true a whole christan church searmoney  
make fishy sing a littel blue dued for halftime  
tell hinta she kissed the real naruto  
make sad. and all the others watch chuckey

-------- --------------- ---------- -------------

Ego- Ah,we had that idea to try again. We have what happened to hidan. (holds up a bag of ashes) We had to tape him up with duct tape so he wouldn't convert them again.

Kisame- (waiting patiently out side closet) NO!!!

Ego- (sends an Im to hinata) Oh boy. I told her..... it said she disconnected.

Akatsuki- ??????????? What's that last one?

------------------ ------------- ------------------

Sillydarkrose

1)Hidan: i kidnapped hidan -leaves ransom note demanding pocky-  
2)Kisame: fishy, fishy, fishies taste good -pokes kisame repeatedly-  
3) Itachi: back off my pocky -goes in corner with sharp pointy weapons- ohh sharp and pointy ow bad pointy bad  
4) I have a dollar

----------------- ---------------- -------------

Ego- So.... we have to give Sillydarkrose pocky to get hidan back........... well it was nice knowing him.

Kakuzu- But... he's my partner...... cheap labor.

Itachi- We're out of pocky. So that would mean buying two times as much as we normally would.

Kakuzu- Well, I guess I'll have to make do. Leader-sama, where do I go to get a new partner?

Kisame- (twitches as he waits) Stop it dammit!!!

Itachi- you got what you diserved. (snatches pocky) Ha!

Kakuzu- (Head snaps up from classifieds: henchmen.) That's mine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Tackles)

Ego- O.o O-okay. Well that's the end of this musical chapter. Now remember reviewers! I don't own any them, trust you'd know if I did.


End file.
